Blindsided by grace

God blind-sided me this morning in my quiet time. I've not been as intentional about meditating on scripture recently as ... OK, I'm trying to avoid the word "should" ... OK, let's put it this way. I would probably spend life on a more even keel emotionally and spiritually if I did what I did this morning more regularly. [once a spin-doctor, always a spin-doctor ... long live the spin-doctors]. Truth be known, what God spoke into my life this morning is more responsible for the avoidance of the word "should" than anything else ("... and we magnify His strictness with a zeal He will not own.")

My focal scripture this morning was Zephaniah 3:17, a passage I have known for years and one that many Ministers of Music hold as a favorite. It has just never connected with me as deeply before as it did this morning as I put my name in place of the pronouns.

Here is how it is translated in the New International Version (except, unlike the NIV, I like to capitalize pronouns that refer to God ... just my own personal preference) followed by what I wrote in my journal (perhaps edited a little bit):

The Lord your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.

This is the only place in scripture that I know about that says anything about God singing. As I look in the narrow context (vv. 14-17) the passage seems full of unconditional grace ... and almost made me cry this morning (OK, it did make me cry). I'm bruised this morning from some of the failures of last week and from being on the receiving end of some of the "why can't they's" regarding technology support aspects of our worship services yesterday. I can make things clear as a bell in the sanctuary (aurally speaking), but the huge frustration is that I seem to have limited success in passing that ability on to others.
[Sometimes I write out my prayers as I journal my devotion times. This is what it looked like this morning.]

God, I know You are mighty to save, but are You really with me like that? Forgive my weak faith for asking that, but I'm having trouble feeling the truth that seems to be there. I've blown it some and taken some hits this past week, and I wonder if I am cut out for this.

Do You really take great delight in me? Is that really how You look at me? Why? There are places deep inside of me that are hungry to hear You rejoicing over me with singing? Can I not hear because of something I'm not doing ... or is there something I need to stop doing?

I'm taking it as a promise that You will quiet me with Your love. I've already felt it in this time of focus. I'm clinging desperately to it for fear that my sense of it will go away. I trust that Your love will not leave ... that's not what I'm worried about. What concerns me is that I will lose awareness of it.

So let's bring it home and make it personal (I recommend doing this with promises from scripture):

The Lord your God is with you, Morris.
The Lord your God who is more than mighty to save is with you.
Morris, God will take great delight in you. IN YOU.
God's love will quiet the storms raging in your windswept mind.

Faith without works is dead. So what am I supposed to do with that? The most compelling impression that came out of my quiet time this morning was that I know other people wrestling with the same feelings and they need to hear the deep grace of God spoken to them in the same way I did this morning. So I'm going to make a few phone calls and send a few e-mails to people I know who need to be reminded of this aspect of their relationship with God.

Musings – A Little Valentine’s Day Levity

Last week we dealt with a topic that was a little deep and brain-straining (I’ll admit it even if you won’t. Sometimes when I try to think deep thoughts my brain hurts). Today in celebration of Valentine’s Day … and in praise of God who is the source of all joyful laughter … I thought I’d share the words to one of my favorite children’s songs. Enjoy Tom Chapin’s Two Kinds of Seagulls.

There's two kinds of seagulls: he-gulls and she-gulls.
He-gulls like she-gulls and that's why there's seagulls.
There's two kinds of pythons: girl-thons and guy-thons.
Girl-thons like guy-thons and that's why there's pythons.

There's two kinds of wombats: Dad-bats and Mom-bats.
Dad-bats dig Mom-bats and that's why there's wombats.
And there's two kinds of squirrels: himmels and herrels.
Himmels are nuts about herrels and that's why there's squirrels.

Most creatures come in pairs. That's the way they mingle.
One kind only would be lonely. It takes two to tingle.

There's two kinds of penguins: lady-guins and men-guins.
Lady-guins flip for men-guins and that's why there's penguins.
There's two kinds of blackbirds: jill-birds and jack-birds.
Jill-birds thrill jack-birds and that's why there's blackbirds.

There's two kinds of lizards: herzards and hizards.
Herzards think hizards are wizards and that's why there's lizards.
There's two kinds of llamas: papas and mamas.
They wear different pajamas and that's why there's llamas.


Most creatures come in pairs. That's the way they mingle.
One kind only would be lonely. It takes two to tingle.

There's two kinds of peoples: he-ples and she-ples.
He-ples like she-ples. She-ples like he-ples.
And that's why there's me-ples, and you-ples, … and peoples.

Yes, Tom Chapin is brother of Harry Chapin (who wrote and recorded the bitter-sweet song Cat’s Cradle – a song I find it hard to listen to without feeling guilty about my level of involvement in my boys’ lives). Two Kinds of Seagulls just makes me smile. I hope it did the same for you. That's enough to think about for now.

Self-centered worship

"We’ve made worship self-centered--instead of God-centered; We lobby for what we want, with statements like: ‘I didn’t like the songs’, or ‘I didn’t like the sermon’. It’s as if we’re worshipping 'worship' instead of worshipping God."

Geoff Bullock, "Beyond Self-Centered Worship"
(quoted by Bob Burroughs, Monday Morning E-mail, February 2007)

Blogger's note: Though they are both correct (according to the dictionary), I have always personally preferred the suffix-added "worship" with the single final consonant rather than the double. Bullock (or his editor) obviously prefers the double.

Bullock is right. In the grand scheme of things, it is God's opinion of our worship that matters far more than our own. It is a delicate balance for a worship leader: to engage people in a worship experience that connects them with God (which will have an impact on their emotional state) rather than seeking first to impact their emotions and use that as a barometer for worship evaluation. Because worship will have an impact on my emotional state, it is tempting for any of us to use "how it makes me feel" as our main evaluation point for worship. But here's the problem: if how it makes me feel is the primary goal, then I've had a great worship experience at a James Taylor concert (he did sing about Jesus in "Fire and Rain").

I am using video of worship led by the dB Network Band at South Carolina's 2007 Shepherding the Staff conference to help train our contemporary worship leadership team. As we view and respond to segments I have chosen, I specifically instruct them to avoid evaluations on the basis of "I liked" or "I didn't like". The bottom line for me is that in worship, our personal opinions matter little (if at all) from God's point of view.

It is a difficult balance to strike. I have been working on it for a couple of decades at least, and I feel no closer to getting a firm grasp on it than when I first began trying to think deeply about it. If anything, things are less clear about some issues than they used to be for me. Worship is for God ... but in a way it's also for us. If we don't worship, we don't experience all that God has for us ... but if we focus more on what God has for us than on who He is, then we may very well miss some of those things that God may wish to say to us ... as well as missing opportunities to bless the world around us as effectively in His name. If we don't worship, God is not diminished, but we are. If we get up and walk out (or remain in the service and shut down) just because we don't like something (or someone) then it is we, not God, who lose ... and those around us may be negatively affected by our attitude as well.

That's enough to think about for now.