What’s on My Mind

A teacher I’ve been listening to recently cautioned about trying to do ministry in a situation where all you had time or energy to pray for was for rescue. I feel a little like a bobsledder careening down an unfamiliar track. Yes, I’m praying for rescue … but at least I’m praying. I long for time to be alone with God … to listen for His voice … but the urgent keeps getting in the way of the important. Have I had opportunities to do this that I have failed to take? Probably.
Normally I try to keep the weekly Musings column only marginally personal. Sometimes, however, the personal thoughts in my mind crowd out everything else. More and more lately, people have come up to me and said, “You look a bit preoccupied.” They are right. I am preoccupied. So what is on my mind now?

• Benjamin spent a few hours at the doctor’s office yesterday for a glucose tolerance test and blood work. His blood sugar level is slightly above normal, but not dangerously so. We’re concerned, but not alarmed. We’ll know more in a few days when we go back for follow-up. Until then, I’m wondering …
• Taylor is only weeks away from getting his learner’s permit. I have to teach him how to drive. AAAAAGH! Despite a visual-spatial learning disability, I know he’ll catch on eventually. Until then, I’m wondering …
• The sanctuary should be physically ready for occupation before the weekend, but we will not occupy it for worship for a few more weeks because of some other details. Seeing people leave rather than stay for worship because they can’t find a seat in the Fellowship Hall at 11:00 is extremely frustrating. I know we’ll get there eventually. Until then, I’m wondering …
• My in-laws continue to appear to be adjusting well to Bailey Manor, and are beginning to learn their way around Clinton. I hope the current trend continues and that they come to think of Clinton as home the way we do. It’s a huge adjustment. Her parents are aging. Mine are aging, too. What will the next 10 to 20 years hold for them and for us? Time alone will tell. Until then, I’m wondering …
• I know I’m not the only one with stuff that tends to preoccupy the mind … and some of my stuff is puny and little compared to what others I know have to deal with. At times I feel like such a wimp. I wonder when I will feel rested again. Until then, I’m wondering …

I’m wondering. How did all this come about? What do I do now? If I had done some certain things differently in the past, would some certain things be different now? How do I get my mind off of my own problems so that I can minister more effectively to others? Paradoxically, how can I allow God to use my problems to help others in their walk with Him? How can I lead others to do the same? When will we as followers of Christ stop being narrow-minded and afraid when it comes to differences of opinion about worship style and begin to focus on encountering God in worship? That’s more than enough to think about for now, but the thoughts keep coming …