A Borrowed Story

In his book Velvet Elvis (you have to read the introduction to know why it is named that … better yet, read the whole book!), Rob Bell, pastor of Mar Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, MI, relates the story of a young woman, an active practitioner Wicca. When he first met her she had been coming for several weeks, and she told him that she hated everything he said from the pulpit. Long story short, she kept coming and the truth and love of God captured her heart. Several months later she told Bell to give her name and phone number to anyone who was in the same situation she had been in so she could share her pilgrimage with them.

Unpacking that story, Bell then noted that some of us don’t have a big, dramatic story like that; so we need to borrow someone else’s. I was talking with Blake earlier this week and learned of a story that belongs to one of our members … and I don’t think he would mind me borrowing it. I think I understand the details accurately enough that the point will be clear.

We have a member who coached a baseball team to tournament participation this past summer. After they won a Saturday game that put them in the next round, he gathered the team (and parents) around him and told them that he knew that many teams competing in the next round of the tournament would be practicing on Sunday morning, but that he was going to be at church and encouraged them to do the same. He then told them where he went to church and invited any of them who did not have a church to come to his church, either to our 8:30 contemporary service or to our 11:00 traditional service. The team parent that related this story to Blake said that it was very clear that he loved God and he loved his church (both services, not just the one he preferred to attend).

What an example for the boys on his team, for their parents, and – need I point out – for us as well! This man has a proven track record as an excellent baseball coach and his love for the sport and for his teams comes out in what he does. But his love for God is greater and orders his priorities. Beyond that, the way he talked about his church in the community is an example worthy of following.

That’s enough to think about for now.

The Greats of the Past Said What?

I’m a collector of sorts of quotes … particularly quotes of people who have made important observations about music and worship in the church. A few weeks ago, I ran across a list of quotes that I found rather interesting (click on title above to be taken to my source for the content below). Consider the opinions of great leaders from the history of the church and what they said (or wrote) about matters musical in the church:

Martin Luther: “The organ in the worship service is a sign of Baal.” Realencyklopadie Fur Protestantische Theologie und Kirche, Bd, 14, s.433 cited in Instrumental Music and New Testament Worship, James D. Bales, p. 130.

Thomas Aquinas, Catholic Theologian; 13th century: “Our church does not use musical instruments, as harps and psalteries, to praise God withal, that she may not seem to Judaize.” Bingham’s Antiquities, Vol. 2, p.483, London.

John Calvin, Reformation Leader, Founder of Reformed & Presbyterian denominations: “Musical Instruments in celebrating the praises of God would be no more suitable than the burning of incense, the lighting of lamps, and the restoration of the other shadows of the law.” Calvin, Commentary on Psalm 33, see also commentary on 1 Samuel 18:1-9

John Wesley, Founder of Methodist Denomination: “I have no objection to instruments of music in our chapels, provided they are neither heard nor seen.” Cited by Methodist commentator Adam Clarke; Clarke’s Commentary, Vol. 4, p.684

Charles Spurgeon, Baptist Author/Pastor: “We might as well pray by machinery as sing by it” and “Israel was at school, and used childish things to help her learn; but in these days when Jesus gives us spiritual food, one can make melody without strings and pipes … we do not need them. That would hinder rather than help our praise. Sing unto Him. This is the sweetest and best music. No instrument like the human voice.” Charles Spurgeon, Commentary on Psalm 42

That’s enough to think about for now.

We're NOT Planning to Do That

[with a heavy sigh]

"I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not certain that what you think you heard is exactly what I meant."

I learned yesterday (8/13/07) that some of our church members have read some of my previous blog entries and have taken a meaning that I absolutely did not intend. I wish to set the record straight and attempt to clear up any misunderstanding.

The staff and leadership IS NOT considering merging our two very different Sunday morning worship services into one blended service ... nor are we planning to do so in the future. I have re-read some of my previous blogs to try to find where I may have accidentally communicated otherwise, but I can't find it. One seldom successfully proofreads his or her own work, though. The closest thing I can come to is the link I made to the article by Scott Wesley Brown a few entries back. In that article, Brown advocates that individual churches move to a unified approach to worship. Hear me clearly on this, my people. That idea is very attractive to me personally, but we are not seeking to lead this church in that direction.

Our "contemporary" service is designed that way because we have members who connect with God more easily with that style of worship. Our "traditional" service is designed as it is for the very same reason. What I desire for our people is that we stop being so defensive about our preferences and so insensitive to people whose preferences differ.

If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself: do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:1-4, NASV)

It breaks my heart that the worship of God ... that which should unify us ... becomes an issue of division because of style preferences.

Wedding Ceremony - Felicia and Frank

I had the distinct honor this past weekend of officiating at the wedding of two dear friends, Felicia and Frank. Ministers of Music don't get to do this as often as senior pastors, so it took a good deal of work to get myself comfortable with the words I would use for the service. The last wedding I officiated was around 10 years ago. From the "for what it's worth" department, here are the notes that I followed for the service:

Gathering Words
Dearly beloved, we have come together - families and friends - in the presence of God to uphold Frank and Felicia as they make their vows of marriage. We celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other, and we support their decision to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives.
Marriage is a holy estate born in the love of God. It is a relationship entered into thoughtfully, reverently, with gratitude for the past and hope for the future. In the tradition of our faith, we believe God calls a man and a woman to leave the homes of their childhood to become, together, a new family.

Prayer
Because the vows they are about to exchange require of them more than they have the strength to give and offer them more than they have the grace to receive, would you please join me as we lift them up to the Father in prayer.
Almighty God, this whole marriage thing was Your idea, and for that we give you thanks and praise. We have seen Your hand in the love that has grown between Felicia and Frank. For that also we give you thanks and praise. We have come to this place as a community to share in the celebration as they begin their life together as husband and wife. We ask Your blessing on them … and we give ourselves to them as family and friends to support and encourage them on the way. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Charge to the Couple
Frank and Felicia, I call to your attention the seriousness of the decision with you have made and the covenant you are about to declare before God and these guests. Be very clear that your marriage is dependent upon your willingness to be faithful to each other and faithful to your understanding of God’s will for you. Constant and continuous obedience to your vow will result in a marriage which will be blessed, a home which will be a place of peace, and a relationship in which you will both grow in love.

Declaration of Intention
Frank, will you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, keep you only unto her, so long as you both shall live?
Felicia, will you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, keep you only unto him, so long as you both shall live?

Presentation of the Bride
Who gives this woman to be married to this man?

Pastoral Reflection
As we talked about scriptures appropriate for weddings in the days and weeks leading up to today, one of the passages we looked at was Paul’s instructions to members of the church at Ephesus found in Ephesians 5 beginning in verse 21. We looked at this passage in several different translations, and found Eugene Peterson’s translation particularly meaningful. Hear now the word of God:

21Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Some people read those verses and misinterpret them to mean that the husband has a right to dominate his wife, and to boss her around. History tells us that in the time and place of the writing of this letter, women were little more than the property of the head of the household (which was always a man). But a study of church history reveals that in the first century church, the followers of Jesus Christ were coming to value the nature and role of womanhood quite differently than the patriarchal cultures of the day. In another of his letters, the Apostle Paul wrote that in Christ there is neither male nor female, Jew nor Greek, slave nor free. In other words, the value or position of a person is not determined by race, gender, or social position.
But it still says here that the wives are to submit to their husbands. Does it really mean that? I don’t have a daughter, but I can imagine a father hearing the word “submit” and thinking “no daughter of mine is going to be a doormat under some guy’s feet.” And he would be 100% right to say so. I think it really does mean submit, but only in the full context of this part of the letter. Far too often, Ephesians 5:21-24 is read without moving on to verses 25-28.
Verse 24 says that a wife should submit to her husband as he exercises Christ-like leadership for her. (Notice that I said for her, not over her). Christ-like leadership is a leadership marked by sacrifice. I like the way Peterson paraphrased it:

25-28a Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.

That paints a completely different picture, doesn’t it? Submission to a domineering, selfish, overbearing, insensitive jerk is not what the Bible commands. Felicia, you are to submit to Frank’s leadership; but Frank, your leadership is only worthy of her submission when it is marked by sacrificial love for her.

29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.

This is the word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God.

Our senior pastor has several words of advice that he usually shares in weddings. If you have attended weddings he has done, you may remember some of them. They are memorable and true.

“A good marriage is not so much about finding the right person as it is about being the right person.” OR “There are three very important words that you need to remember in order to help preserve harmony in your home. These aren’t the only words, but these are very important ones … and they are not “I love you” or ‘I am sorry’ or ‘let’s eat out’. The three very important words are ‘I was wrong.’” I find that the more often I use those words in my marriage, the easier it is to find harmony restored. Those are true statements and easy to remember … and I’m grateful to Blake for letting me borrow them.

To those I have but a couple to add (and I’ll be brief). The first is a statement of wisdom that came to me from my great-grandmother, through my grandmother, through my mother a little over 20 years ago as Dawn and I were looking forward to our wedding day. She was not the first to think it, or even the first to say it. You may have heard it said like this: “If two people agree on everything, one of them is not thinking.” You are both very intelligent people, and you think about things and wrestle with ideas … individually and together. [That’s one of the reasons I enjoy our friendship.] People who are using their brains will sometimes come to different conclusions about ideas.

“If two people agree on everything, one of them is not thinking.” That is also a true statement, but I like the way my great-grandmother put it even better: “If two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary.” When you disagree, look at it as a sign that each of you is a necessary part of the other’s life … a sign that you belong. And remember that the only situation in which there is no conflict is when nobody cares.

The second word of advice is one that I shared with you in our last counseling session this past Sunday afternoon. My advice to you is to learn a paradoxical selfishness … a selfishness that manifests itself in unselfishness. Felicia, you must want for yourself the best husband that Frank can possibly be, understanding that the only way he can be that for you is for you to give him the best wife that you can be. The same is true for you, Frank. You must want for yourself the best wife that Felicia can be, understanding that the only way she can be that for you is if you give her the best husband that you can be.

Exchange of Vows
I, Frank, take you, Felicia // to be my wife; // to laugh with you in joy; // to grieve with you in sorrow; // to grow with you in love. // I give myself as I am // and as I will be, // and I do it for all of life.
I, Felicia, take you, Frank // to be my husband; // to laugh with you in joy; // to grieve with you in sorrow; // to grow with you in love. // I give myself as I am // and as I will be, // and I do it for all of life.

Exchange of Rings
The giving and receiving of rings to seal covenants is a time-honored tradition. The rings will be a sign to others and a reminder to you of the promises you have just made to each other. May the untarnished gold remind you that your love for each other is to be pure. As a circle has no beginning or end, may the shape of the rings also remind you that your love for each other is to be nurtured from now on.

[Frank] Felicia, as a symbol of my love for you // and my commitment to you throughout our lives, // I give you this ring, // [in the name of the Father, // and of the Son, // and of the Holy Spirit].

[Felicia] Frank, as a symbol of my love for you // and my commitment to you throughout our lives, // I give you this ring, // [in the name of the Father, // and of the Son, // and of the Holy Spirit].

Prayer

Pronouncement of Marriage
Forasmuch as Frank and Felicia have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and have pledged their faith to each other, and have declared the same by joining hands and by giving and receiving rings; I pronounce that they are husband and wife together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, let no one separate. Amen.

Frank, you may kiss your bride.

Blessing
May the love you hold for each other, now sealed in marriage, continue to mature, that your life together may be a source of strength and inspiration to the community of your family and to the wider circle of the world.

Presentation of the Couple

Political-speak: all is not always as it seems

If you follow the links on my blog, you'll find that my friend Charles (http://www.blogitch.blogspot.com/) can be rather outspoken on his opinion of our current president. I link to his blog not because I agree with him on current national politics, but because he is a friend of mine. Whenever I contemplate matters of national politics, it is not long before I thank God that He has not called me to that sphere. Local church relationships are quite political enough for me, thank you very much.

Some accuse one news organization (Fox) of being quite unbalanced toward the right ... conservative talkers (e.g. Limbaugh) accuse the majority of national media organizations of being in the pocket of the left. Noticing a marked contrast between the way the BBC reports on the Iraq war in comparison to the way NPR tends to report on the same events, I found it quite refreshing to hear Ted Koppel say this a few weeks ago:


As we listen to the candidates talk about the war, we need to be aware that what we think they say may not always be exactly what they mean.

Together

One of the ways your church staff grows together is by reading books and discussing them when we meet. The book we’re currently working through is Transformation: How Glocal Churches Transform Lives and the World by Bob Roberts, Jr. [global + local = glocal] You have already read some quotes from this book in previous Musings. Another has come to mind as I’ve been wrestling with the particulars of this Sunday’s combined worship service [7/29/07]. Knowing that we have members (from both services) who will either grumble or choose to stay away because the style of the service will not be exactly like they want it to be, my heart yearns for us to grow to value the diversity within our congregation. Roberts writes:

I experience God in our worship at NorthWood, but I have also experienced him in worship in a Presbyterian church with a Catholic priest, Henri Nouwen. How tragic that we relate the form of worship to our ability to communicate with God more than carrying the substance from service to service. High church, low church, house church, open church, underground church, charismatic church, traditional church, contemporary church – God is in all forms. But its only function – if that church is alive – is to allow God’s kingdom to flow into people’s lives. ••• Those obsessed with style just don’t get it. Styles are not the goal, only conduits – and only for a period of time.

“ … and only for a period of time.” Consider this from
(this article
by Scott Wesley Brown that I found at worship.com:

Have you ever wondered what worship will be like in Heaven? We all know that it will be glorious and that we will have the honor of worshiping Jesus face to face. But what kind of worship genre will it be? Will it be traditional or contemporary, Puritan psalm singing or Gregorian chant, Vivaldi choruses or Passion Praise? Will it be in unison or four part harmony, acapella [sic] or accompanied by instruments? Will the language be French, Spanish, Italian or Cantonese? Will hands be raised or arms folded? Will it be loud or soft? Will it have a Pentecostal or Presbyterian feel? Will it be “High church” or “Low church”?

The implication is that we won’t care, or that it will be so far removed from what we now know that it won’t matter. Close to a year ago the worship committee began talking about what we will actually do this Sunday morning. The goal is not to please (or to displease) anyone, but to come together and celebrate our unity in Christ, and to do so in such a way that our hearts please God. Thinking about staying away? Please don’t.

That’s enough to think about for now.
_______________________________________________________________
Blogger's note:
I wrote the above for the rehearsals that took place on Wednesday evening July 25th ... the day before I left town for a week's vacation (including a Disney cruise to celebrate my parents' 50th wedding anniversary). One of the things I told the choir and the contemporary worship team took it's root in this Aesop fable.. I related the story as clearly as I could, then told them: "This Sunday morning, you are both host and guest in worship ... host to those who usually attend the other service, and their guest as well. I expect you to be gracious in both capacities." I arrived back in town last night and asked my in-laws how things went. From their description, I think I have reason to be proud of my people.

When we calendared the combined service, we did not intend on as many of the staff being away as were. My senior pastor was out west on vacation and our Youth Minister/Pianist (who usually leads the contemporary side of things when I'm away) was in Brazil on a mission trip. Our summer youth ministry intern preached (he had been planning for weeks and was very ready), and the rest of our teams did a very good job (from everything I have been told).

I did learn, however, that a number of our people did chose to stay away because of the combined nature of the service ... and my heart grieves for the loss of community that behavior perpetuates.